Squirrels?

Pedestrian life is hard. I saw two squirrels frolicking in a yard the other day... on closer inspection I realized they were rats. I'm still having trouble swallowing.

Attack of the Little Brown Bird

It's official, I'm being attacked by little brown birds. Yesterday, after a trip to the grocery store, I walked into my apartment to find a little brown bird FLYING along the ceiling panels... I'm serious. I wish it were a joke, or part of an outdoor adventure. I really don't like horror films, and I image this scene was something right out of Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds: A little brown bird, flying upside down, towards me as I screamed and dropped my bags. Apparently the screen was left open?!? Ok, fine, but seriously, WHEN will the avian attacks be over?

No Judgment

Our NYC-bound Megabus driver just told us to turn off our cell phones and generally try not to disrupt our fellow passengers as some of us may be "trying to work, sleep, or nurse a hangover... no judgment." Thanks for understanding the trials of a Friday morning. He's also asked us not to come down the front stairs on the bus as that would, "probably scare the hell out of him." I always appreciate comedy at 8AM!

Why do birds suddenly appear?

Ok, this is NOT the Karen Carpenter song, it's my life! LOL, seriously, why do birds keep almost flying into my face when all I'm trying to do is walk?? My summer brown tan is pretty deep, but am I also starting to resemble bark on a tree? Do I need more moisturizer:( Pigeon after pigeon, little brown bird after little brown bird, swoooops down past my face or inches above my forehead leaving me ducking and weaving to avoid having little feathers go splat across my face. I'm scared for my life. Seriously, I might be one seagull away from getting shat on.