Seriously, are you 5 years old??

Why does a grown woman riding the T with her hands covering her ears to block out foreign languages???

On a crowded Red Line rush hour train yesterday, two women were speaking in another language (which I later learned was Swedish). One was standing, and the other was sitting down in front of me. Another woman seated two people away who was probably paranoid for the whole ride suddenly accuses the standing friend of talking about her, because she must've looked at her while she was talking.

"What did you say to me?"
"Nothing. I wasn't talking to you."
"Well, you were looking at me."
"I was looking all around the train"
"Why don't you speak in English?"
"I don't speak it that well"
"Well you should try"
"Whatever."

(And then as she goes back to talking to her friend, the other woman's hands go up to cover her ears.... like a kid leaving a school building in a fire drill)

And all I can think is, REALLY??? I find it highly concerning when big cities become hostile and xenophobic. I get that there's a lanugage barrier, but isn't there a better way of addressing your concerns than by making people think you're an asshole?

Real Women Don't Run to the Bus

Except in dire circumstances... In the spirit of making fun of everyone else, I suppose I should to be fair... let me explain.

So I ran for the bus. Practically a sin because a real woman should only run when intentionally exercising! What else could be that pressing? Well, it was a code red - i.e. I would've been lost and stranded in Roxbury. After failed attempts to convince the bus driver to let me on at 3 unofficial bus stops, he finally opened the door (out of respect for my determination) and mildly lectured me on not paying attention to the boarding call - Sir! Your bus was NOT properly labeled!! Then the man sitting on the upper level of seating, leaning forward like he had something seriously important to say like "good run," decided it was a good time to point out that one of my braids was, well, on my seat. (Sidenote: the hair I'm rocking this summer is not realllly mine, it probably came from a religious sacrifice in India (seriously, see Black Hair). Nonetheless, I'm enjoying the freedom of not having to "do" it.) Sigh. I didn't really want to know that. But thanks for being thoughtful...? Humidity can't touch me 'cause "long hair don't care!" but it does get awkwardly silent when someone points out a man down situation. As if running for the bus was not embarrassing enough...

Ok, it's hot, I get it

... but are we realllly carrying around paper cups ad galloon water jugs on the T, and spilling those open cups and jugs onto our fellow passengers?? My toes are wet!!! You know what... sidenote, they do feel cooler though. Ok, I might be all right with this. You still look crazy though.

Booster Seat

I need a booster seat. I have an extra short torso - thanks Mom - and every time I look up, someone's crotch is in my face at eye-level. I don't think I can take it anymore. no one should have to witness this much gyrating on a morning commute.

GET BACK!

I remember learning the lesson about personal body space (PBS) vividly in elementary school, but I suppose not everyone got the memo... on the train a while back, there was a woman with a very interesting tag around her neck. It said:

"In case of fire, remember: R.A.C.E."

I was intrigued, but not as much as the suited up older man next to me, who, without asking, walked over to her while the train was still moving, took hold of the tag, and pulled it super close to his eyes to read. That's FAR too close, sir. Finally, after we stopped and the doors had opened for a few seconds, the woman calmy and politely stated that she needed to get off. What just happened here? Me and my seatmates exchanged the obligatory awkward moment laughs, and I seriously had to give credit to that woman for not yelling "GET BACK" like we do in RAD class... She didn't even flinch when he came close to her. I dunno. I think he would've gotten a tap to the jugular if that had been me. Lucky for him.