My latest appalling T-incident began when a fellow passenger called me "girl". Seriously, that was his introduction, "Hi, girl!" and he really didn't seem to register the inappropriateness of referring to an almost 30-year old black woman as GIRL! He even went so far as to continue the conversation, while I sat, waiting on the platform, head cocked to the side, with a confused expression on my face, like "GIRL??? WhereTheyDoThatAt?? I addressed the fact, but I'm afraid I didn't go far enough...
"Did you just call me 'girl'?" I asked
"Yes... oh, I should've said 'sister'...?"
Is he serious? "Mmmm, no. I just haven't been addressed as 'Girl' in a couple of decades." Ummm, more like EVER. Even when I was referred to as "a girl" no one was picking me out of a crowd and using "Girl" in place of my name, or a second person pronoun. Completely oblivious to my inner thoughts, dude continued chit-chatting about the weather and his journey home, not noticing I had utterly tuned him out and was reaching for my headphones.
The problem(s) with this situation:
1) He's a 50-something older white guy referring to a black woman as "girl". As if the term weren't racially charged enough, "Girl" is not even a proper form of address, it should be "Miss/Ma'am" or something along those lines.
2) If this type of behavior was never racially correct in the past, it is most definitely outdated in 2014. 3) As I grappled with whether or not I should try to put his ignorance into context (like maybe this guy is older than I think and out of touch, or maybe he's from the south...?), I realized I was less intent on correcting him and more intent on addressing the fact that his word usage was odd.
4) I apologize in advance to the next black woman, or any grown woman for that matter, that he refers to in the same way. Singling me out as "Hey, woman" would have been equally weird, but less offensive, derogatory, and belittling. I should've corrected him when I had the chance. The next woman might just give him an angry face, and based on his reaction to me, it's clear he just won't get it.
"Did you just call me 'girl'?" I asked
"Yes... oh, I should've said 'sister'...?"
Is he serious? "Mmmm, no. I just haven't been addressed as 'Girl' in a couple of decades." Ummm, more like EVER. Even when I was referred to as "a girl" no one was picking me out of a crowd and using "Girl" in place of my name, or a second person pronoun. Completely oblivious to my inner thoughts, dude continued chit-chatting about the weather and his journey home, not noticing I had utterly tuned him out and was reaching for my headphones.
The problem(s) with this situation:
1) He's a 50-something older white guy referring to a black woman as "girl". As if the term weren't racially charged enough, "Girl" is not even a proper form of address, it should be "Miss/Ma'am" or something along those lines.
2) If this type of behavior was never racially correct in the past, it is most definitely outdated in 2014. 3) As I grappled with whether or not I should try to put his ignorance into context (like maybe this guy is older than I think and out of touch, or maybe he's from the south...?), I realized I was less intent on correcting him and more intent on addressing the fact that his word usage was odd.
4) I apologize in advance to the next black woman, or any grown woman for that matter, that he refers to in the same way. Singling me out as "Hey, woman" would have been equally weird, but less offensive, derogatory, and belittling. I should've corrected him when I had the chance. The next woman might just give him an angry face, and based on his reaction to me, it's clear he just won't get it.
