Sightseeing Sucks

Sightseeing outside this city is, umm, difficult. There aren't any tall or spectacular buildings and things look pretty industrial in at least half of the state. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But, continuing in that gray odyssey of industrialization is the scary looking gi-normous white windmill that's popped up somewhere near the Everett/Somerville town line. It's like the long white blades keep getting longer. I really think it's an optical illusion. It's even starting to look more imposing than the industrial vestiges of the 19th or 20th century that loom behind it. But because it's shamelessly promoting a new era of energy efficiency, I'll leave it alone, for now.

Weirded Out

People are disproportionately weirder on buses than they are on trains! Why is that? The other day, I sat across from Mr. Weird himself. He was feeling up his Adam's apple and sticking his tongue out. He was also wearing the toe sneakers... (further confirmation of insanity). Sir, why are you still rolling the water around in your mouth that you drank 3 minutes ago...? This is getting even weirder than I exected.. WHEN am I getting off this bus?? OMG, he got off first. Thank goodness.

The Amazing Pick-Up

I just got a flashback to summatime! Picture this - a super hot summer day in Boston, and me trekking to the nearest T station... sigh. So I was extra excited when an off-duty bus driver pulled over for me. Score!! I boarded, and walked into the AC as the driver told me that although he'd just passed by another guy who tried to flag him down, he had to pick me up because he, "couldn't let a pretty lady keep walking." Aww, shux! I felt kind bad for the other guy though :(

Anyhow, as we pulled into the station, driver-man kept talking:
"Hope to see you again."
"Me too!" I said, really thinking, it would be great if we could arrange this to happen on a regular basis.
"Oh really, can I have your number...?"
Wait... What? (At this point I could see my last statement had created some confusion. Ooooh... he thinks I wanna holler...Yeah..no.
"No," insert smiley face, "but thank you for the ride!"

And THIS is why you can't have male friends! LOL, I'm just kidding, but for reals, can we just keep this to a friendly, one-time, unattached, exchange? I got off the bus before he could start singing "what your man got to do with me?" I told ya!

Shouting in the Dark

When in doubt, the MBTA bus routes never fail to amuse, especially when the driver is yelling out the window.

From my uber-coach elevated viewing seat in the back of the bus - not so I can relive segregation but because the seats are higher and I can see everything - I spotted this couple who boarded the bus talking about getting off at Lechmere. That's when I knew they were totally lost. The girlfriend didn't believe me, but her boo did, and he jogged up to the front of the bus to ask the driver. Next thing I know, I hear the busdriver's booming Roxbury accent taken up five decibals too high shouting after them: "NOOO, RIIIIGHT OVER THEEERE!! WHERE THAT LAAADY'S STAAANDIN! RIIIGHT THEEERE!!" I almost hit my head on the window laughing. WHYYYYY are you so loud? And why is this ok? I just hope they found the bus stop he was trying to point out...

Digging for Gold

Ok. How do I say this without judging? I mean, we've all done it, whether we were 5 or 25, but usually by now, we've learned the appropriate places to handle our business. Needless to say, the 40 or 50-something man sitting across from me on the T was digging for gold in his left nostril... really wiping it out to ensure it was clean and possibly shining by the time he finished. I on the other hand felt sick. Maybe he's not from around these parts and I should count this on a long list of cultural differences, and yet something tells me this is not the only place in the world where it's kinda nasty to publicly pull boogers and then roll them around in your fingers. I'm gonna go home and throw up now.

"Hey Brown-Brown!"

Sooo, why'd I get called a heifer in Central Square for not giving money to the homeless woman outside CVS? I did kind of ignore her three requests for change :-/ My bad. I think that was the breaking point really. You have to acknowledge your fellow man or in this case, woman, even if it's just to say no. Even still, no need for verbal abuse, ma'am! I so prefer the guy outside the McDonald's in Kenmore Square who calls me (and possibly others...) by shouting: "Hey Brown-Brown," and expects nothing in return except maybe a head nod.

Pick Up Lines

A couple of weeks ago as I was standing, bundled up, reading the Boston Metro on the platform of the T station, an older gent approached me. He might've been 55+. In my peripheral vision I saw him cheesing as he walked in my direction. He passed behind me, then walked as far as three feet away before he started moving in from the right, still cheesing, and started making conversation. Something about the weather, and if I was on my way to work, and THEN! Theeen, old gent boldly went where no man [I'm actually interested in] has gone before - he asked, at 8:30am on a workday, if I had time for coffee! I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't mad at his game, and it wasn't even a bad idea, but I definitely was not interested. What it really left me wondering was, why in the world aren't you teaching these swagalicious skills to the men of my generation??