Red Line Karaoke??

I cannot!!!! The train pulled to a stop, but we're too far up, so they have to back up the entire train. If only people waiting on the platform could stand behind the yellow line, we could actually back up... While we wait, we get a free round of Karaoke a la señor off-key vocals. It started with Mario's all time #1 remix of "you say I'm just a friend...girl I can beee your faaantasssy..." and ended with some lyrics I could've even decipher. Sir, get your pitch right! I cain't!

Señor Jock

Riding the train at night makes me super aware of just how many men are on board. The ratio is something like 5:1, which makes me slightly uncomfortable, and definitely more observant...(except for these little blogging interludes).

Tonight, Señor Jockstrap has boarded the train, laid down his leather coat and is quickly (very quickly) making himself at home. He pulls a bottle of lotion out of his stuffed gym bag, squirts and rubs it into his hands, and then sits back, arms up over both opposing headrests as if waiting for the intoxicating powers of an Axe body lotion to take effect. He's fidgety too. Minutes later, he's sitting cross-legged, stretched across two seats, with his bag and coat stretched across another two. Uh oh, he's getting dressed again. We must be getting close. Lol #ICan't!!

Purple Rain

First of all!!! Who knew Etta James did a cover of Prince's "Purple Rain"??

Secondly, why is there a dude at the station pretending he's auditioning for a live concert AS Prince??? I never know what's going on. How'd I miss the casting call??

Bright Lights

I'm a Gary Clark, Jr. fan, but this story is not about my fave homeless-looking, guitar-playing artist man. It's all about the academic highlighting champion I sat next to yesterday on,the ride in to work. Sir! You have literally highlighted every word on the page, color coding by paragraphs! Was it alllll really that important? I don't know how he's gonna remember what to study for the actual test, but I hope his memory is color coded too.

Breathe in, breathe out

Hey girl, heeey! Yeah....so this is gonna be pretty awkward and terrible, but honey, you need to wash your hair. It smells preTTy bad. Could be for any number of reasons, but you seem pretty well put together, so I'm gonna say it's just that them braids been in too long. Look, just take care of it... and maybe lean in the ooother direction...? Yeah, it'sss bad.

Funkmaster

Stinky pits over here has decided to raise his arm up higher than his head on his five foot tall body, in order to hold onto the metal bar of the T next to the doors - nooot because there's standing room only on the train (nope, there's definitely space to sit down) but just because. And that means sharing his funk with yours truly since I'm sitting in the first seat next to the door, smh. Violation, short sir!! It's not even hot out to be smelling like a workout this early in the morning. Regretting the deep breath I just took...

Old School Jams

Oooh my goodness, sir, your R&B love jams are SO OLD and no one wants to hear these throwbacks during rush hour:

"...every freakin night and every freakin day, I wanna freak with you in every single way... What must I saaaay, what must I dooo..."

Enough already! What must I say to get this to stop?? Get some headphones and take this ish off speaker phone!!