Bright Lights

I'm a Gary Clark, Jr. fan, but this story is not about my fave homeless-looking, guitar-playing artist man. It's all about the academic highlighting champion I sat next to yesterday on,the ride in to work. Sir! You have literally highlighted every word on the page, color coding by paragraphs! Was it alllll really that important? I don't know how he's gonna remember what to study for the actual test, but I hope his memory is color coded too.

Breathe in, breathe out

Hey girl, heeey! Yeah....so this is gonna be pretty awkward and terrible, but honey, you need to wash your hair. It smells preTTy bad. Could be for any number of reasons, but you seem pretty well put together, so I'm gonna say it's just that them braids been in too long. Look, just take care of it... and maybe lean in the ooother direction...? Yeah, it'sss bad.

Funkmaster

Stinky pits over here has decided to raise his arm up higher than his head on his five foot tall body, in order to hold onto the metal bar of the T next to the doors - nooot because there's standing room only on the train (nope, there's definitely space to sit down) but just because. And that means sharing his funk with yours truly since I'm sitting in the first seat next to the door, smh. Violation, short sir!! It's not even hot out to be smelling like a workout this early in the morning. Regretting the deep breath I just took...

Old School Jams

Oooh my goodness, sir, your R&B love jams are SO OLD and no one wants to hear these throwbacks during rush hour:

"...every freakin night and every freakin day, I wanna freak with you in every single way... What must I saaaay, what must I dooo..."

Enough already! What must I say to get this to stop?? Get some headphones and take this ish off speaker phone!!

The Red Line BBQ

Yet another shocking delay on the red line!! My car on the train smells like barbecued hot dogs, which although I would totally eat one right now, is disturbing because barbecue reminds me of fire, and we're in a locked box underground... Needless to say, the train is currently standing by due to a "fire action" and you better believe help is on the way.

In other news... there's a half whining / half crying baby that I'd like to calm down. Not that I'd know what to do, but anything is better than hearing a "crying baby" in surround sound on a stalled train. #saveme

"You just WON this morning, Honey!"

I've got big business to do after work today, and wanting to preserve my outfit from the stresses of walking ten minutes to the train, I opted to take the bus to the train - normally I deserve this for winter days, but it's about 90 out and it's only 8:30, so I took the bus. Of course then I get to the train station and the clock says I have a 14-minute wait. W. T. F. Feeling defeated, I grab a Metro to pass the next torturous 14 minutes of my life, and walk without purpose to the escalator. I hoped maybe there'd been a typo in the wait time, but no one was rushing up the escalator or the stairs. Anyhow, I heard the sound of train, could it be? And ran up those moving stairs to find the train STILL boarding. I managed not to fall over myself but still only made it to the doors juuust in time for the rubber stops to close on my fingertips :( To my shock, awe, relief, surprise, the conductor re-opened the doors!!!! And I was welcomed in by a fellow passenger with my new fave line for the day: "You just won this morning, Honey!" YES! I believe I did.

Was That Your Dad?!?

I definitely just saw someone's dad sitting on a bench in the Boston Public Gardens (emphasis on PUBLIC) with his shirt off, black shorts on, belly out, and graying dreadlocks on his head and in his beard - yes - keeping company with a squirrel - what?! Somebody please call the park ranger.