Wednesday, October 14, 2015

"One more time, please"

That moment on the train when you and half the people in a crowded car on the Orange line start laughing together because you've each just realized you're not the only one who thought the conductor's loud, nasally voice and uber repetitive announcements were ridiculously annoying.

Late night on the Orange line is tough. At night, tired but still observant, I suddenly realize how dirty this train is. Eww. And to top it off, the train's not even taking me all the way home, because they're running shuttles... great. I'll be home 20 minutes later. Ok, not that it makes a huge difference, but if it were colder, it surely would.

Anyway, the conductor repeated the announcement about how the last stop would be at X station and how the Orange line was running shuttles from there to the end of the line. She repeated it at least once every stop. I was on for 8 stops. Eghh. Talk about painful, especially since radio blast lasted for 60 seconds of a nasally, dragging, tired-sounding woman's voice. It almost would've been better if it'd actually been Fran Drescher. At some point, I saw the woman across from me shaking her head at yet another anuncio, then the guy across from her started saying "come on, shut up!" The next thing I knew, the woman next to me and a man across from me were laughing uncontrollably, and egging on the conductor, as if to say you can't possibly make this announcement AGAIN! But indeed, we did get ONE more super loud reminder of our imminent shuttle bus fate even add the train pulled in. I was tearing up, and laughing out loud by the time I got off. Ridiculous! Clearly not even a shuttle bus can't steal my joy. Ha!

Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Take me to the Barber

Is it just me or are men sporting totally new haircuts these days? This summer I made some legit observations...

For the thick hair crew, hi-lows and mohawks seem to have made a comeback; for those with finer hair I've noticed the Samurai topknot: sides and back shaved with just enough left up top to make a tiny ponytail at the crown of the head. The real Samurai cut was shaved on top with hair left on the sides and the back. But alas, evolution...? I thought this shaved style was just trending among women for the past few years, so I totally missed when it crossed over to the men.

I support pretty much any look that shows a man has intentionally styled his hair, sooo, keep it up guys! Hi-lows, fades, mohawks, topknots and whatever else shows you care.

Toe Season

It's official, the weather hit the high 70s yesterday and now the season for open toed shoes (and jacked up nail polish) has started. You don't have to keep your toe nails lacquered at all, but you do have to make up your mind. Do it or don't do it at all. No straddling the fence. If it's halfway gone, just take it off, please. Really. Half polished toes are not for public consumption.

Sunday, May 3, 2015

Nip-City

Hmmmm.... violation. I just saw a grown man in a bright yellow Bahama button down shirt throw back a whole nip of something while standing at the bus stop. And then he left the bus stop, after littering, and continued on his way. Really? Somone please get this man an AA buddy.

Friday, February 13, 2015

Beverly Scott Fan Club

Beverly, don't go! It's not your fault. The MBTA has issues. And God has jokes for anyone who thinks they can control the snow. I think we're up to 70 inches for the season at this point, maybe more. Sigh. This picture is one of the other problems. Overcrowding!! I need more space to breathe, sir. Not just the air in front of your pants. Gross.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Foot Loose

No, literally, this man has NO shoes on....

To be fair, he might have a legitimate explanation - his shoes got stolen, his feet are swollen and don't fit into shoes, his feet overheated, he's a tarpal nudist.... - but I didn't ask. It's warmer today than it has been in weeks, so maybe he's been looking forward to this spring day, brought to us by global warming, for months now. I just don't know....

On my other side, did crazy just get unleashed? I'm not sure if this woman is having a conversation with an invisible friend in Spanish or if I just can't see her phone. The convo started so abruptly... I didn't see a phone ring or any dialing action going on.... ok.  All right, there's a phone.

Ok, that's all I can handle for ten minutes on the red line. I'm outtie!!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

MBTA - Let Me Upgrade You

Soooo, word on the street is the MBTA has five dozen new hybrid busses waiting to hit the streets! Can you say #upgrade?  Looks like the fare hikes are making an impact on efficiency. We like this. New busses will be noticeably distinct from the older fleet. New seats, upgraded windows, super quiet, and energy efficient, what??? I'm keeping an eye out and personally hoping they end up on one of my fave bus routes....

Zippity Do Da

Grrrr, it's a crotch in the face type of morning. What I wouldn't give for a booster seat right now. Eye level always wins against staring at zippers in the early morning.

In other news I am still really excited about my adult lunch box made from the wetsuit looking material. Lunch has never been this fun to carry.

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Stinky-Town

It smells especially horrrrible on the train today. Not sure if it's my overly sensitive nose or just the people... well, actually, I'm sure that it is them, I'm just not sure everyone else is having the same problem with inhaling that I am.

The man standing next to me has his arm raised high in the air holding onto the handles and he is NOT "Sure". Good grief. The kids on the shuttle ride to the train earlier were also completely undeodorized and on top of that smelled like food.

I just don't understand what anyone had against a little perfume or Degree. Dove is available for men and women. CVS had coupons. Hell, I have extra coupons. Ughhh. I just can't. When is my stop???

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

The Fighter

This guy really thinks he IS the fighter. In reality something about him is more Christian Bale - older drugged out brother of the fighter - than Mark Wahlberg. I mean.... we're on the T and halfway through a vertical nap he decides to start flexing, punching the air, and pivot turning on his heels. He's getting in some legitimate air jabs though. There's a chance he may know what's he's doing, and yet he still looks half asleep and more than slightly suspect. Hmmm....

Thursday, February 27, 2014

Hoodless in the City

Ohh! Sometimes I really love the life of the freelancer. Hopping into new and old favorite cafes, getting into as much cold weather as I can tolerate before ducking indoors, and doing the work I want. Deep down, I have a feeling this is how I'm really supposed to live.  

In other news, I'm really taking chances out here without a hood on. It is still winter after all and a mini blizzard just broke out. While I knew before I left the house that there was a possibility for snow, I've also pretty much stopped believing the weather reports. Beyond checking to see what exactly the temperature is, I've made a habit of assuming the timing of snow, rain, or other Nor'easters is only semi accurate. So, for that reason I almost messed up my eye make-up trying to walk down a windy street with snowflakes making the direct contact with my eyeballs, and all the teary-eyed-ness that came along with that mishap.

In other news, nothing truly unbelievable has been happening on the trains these days.. Odd. Although, wait, I take that back. There was a man on the train earlier wearing a ski mask (aka balaclava - vocab word of the day!) with the design of a skeleton's face on it. Ugggh, sir, violation! That was frightening. He walked toward the doors of the car and proceeded to stand in front of another guy who was on his phone and looking down. I was about 80% sure I was going to hear a scream when he finally looked up from his device, but shockingly, there was nothing. Maybe his heartbeat raced for a second, or maybe he was so totally absorbed in his own screen that he didn't really notice the dude at all?? I don't know, but I was alarmed and then just annoyed, probably enough for the both of us.
Ski mask for jerks.... smh!!

Tuesday, January 14, 2014

"GIRL"....? Really?

My latest appalling T-incident began when a fellow passenger called me "girl". Seriously, that was his introduction, "Hi, girl!" and he really didn't seem to register the inappropriateness of referring to an almost 30-year old black woman as GIRL! He even went so far as to continue the conversation, while I sat, waiting on the platform, head cocked to the side, with a confused expression on my face, like "GIRL??? WhereTheyDoThatAt?? I addressed the fact, but I'm afraid I didn't go far enough...

"Did you just call me 'girl'?" I asked
"Yes... oh, I should've said 'sister'...?"
Is he serious? "Mmmm, no. I just haven't been addressed as 'Girl' in a couple of decades." Ummm, more like EVER. Even when I was referred to as "a girl" no one was picking me out of a crowd and using "Girl" in place of my name, or a second person pronoun. Completely oblivious to my inner thoughts, dude continued chit-chatting about the weather and his journey home, not noticing I had utterly tuned him out and was reaching for my headphones.

The problem(s) with this situation:
1) He's a 50-something older white guy referring to a black woman as "girl". As if the term weren't racially charged enough, "Girl" is not even a proper form of address, it should be "Miss/Ma'am" or something along those lines.
2) If this type of behavior was never racially correct in the past, it is most definitely outdated in 2014. 3) As I grappled with whether or not I should try to put his ignorance into context (like maybe this guy is older than I think and out of touch, or maybe he's from the south...?), I realized I was less intent on correcting him and more intent on addressing the fact that his word usage was odd.
4) I apologize in advance to the next black woman, or any grown woman for that matter, that he refers to in the same way. Singling me out as "Hey, woman" would have been equally weird, but less offensive, derogatory, and belittling. I should've corrected him when I had the chance. The next woman might just give him an angry face, and based on his reaction to me, it's clear he just won't get it.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

You remind me of... sweet things

A little beatnic poetry slam on the redline platform this morning?? #Classic

"You remind me of sweet things...(guitar interlude and drum beats)...
You remind me of....
iiiice cream...
(drum beats again, pause)
Vanilla"

I couldn't keep a straighter face if I were serious. Mind you, I'm hearing all this before I ever see the artiste/ beat poet, and when I do see him, it's nothing short of startling. Something along the lines of a wild-haired, pale faced witch-leprechaun... Outfitted with a loose green turtleneck, gray skinnies covered in paint (which the four canvases of art surrounding him help put into context) sitting on a crate, with a guitar by his side. I assume he made the drum sounds by beating on the crate at intervals. Best wake up call this week. For some reason everything smells like vanilla now. Thanks beatnic.

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Red Line Karaoke??

I cannot!!!! The train pulled to a stop, but we're too far up, so they have to back up the entire train. If only people waiting on the platform could stand behind the yellow line, we could actually back up... While we wait, we get a free round of Karaoke a la señor off-key vocals. It started with Mario's all time #1 remix of "you say I'm just a friend...girl I can beee your faaantasssy..." and ended with some lyrics I could've even decipher. Sir, get your pitch right! I cain't!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Señor Jock

Riding the train at night makes me super aware of just how many men are on board. The ratio is something like 5:1, which makes me slightly uncomfortable, and definitely more observant...(except for these little blogging interludes).

Tonight, Señor Jockstrap has boarded the train, laid down his leather coat and is quickly (very quickly) making himself at home. He pulls a bottle of lotion out of his stuffed gym bag, squirts and rubs it into his hands, and then sits back, arms up over both opposing headrests as if waiting for the intoxicating powers of an Axe body lotion to take effect. He's fidgety too. Minutes later, he's sitting cross-legged, stretched across two seats, with his bag and coat stretched across another two. Uh oh, he's getting dressed again. We must be getting close. Lol #ICan't!!

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Purple Rain

First of all!!! Who knew Etta James did a cover of Prince's "Purple Rain"??

Secondly, why is there a dude at the station pretending he's auditioning for a live concert AS Prince??? I never know what's going on. How'd I miss the casting call??

Thursday, October 17, 2013

Bright Lights

I'm a Gary Clark, Jr. fan, but this story is not about my fave homeless-looking, guitar-playing artist man. It's all about the academic highlighting champion I sat next to yesterday on,the ride in to work. Sir! You have literally highlighted every word on the page, color coding by paragraphs! Was it alllll really that important? I don't know how he's gonna remember what to study for the actual test, but I hope his memory is color coded too.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Breathe in, breathe out

Hey girl, heeey! Yeah....so this is gonna be pretty awkward and terrible, but honey, you need to wash your hair. It smells preTTy bad. Could be for any number of reasons, but you seem pretty well put together, so I'm gonna say it's just that them braids been in too long. Look, just take care of it... and maybe lean in the ooother direction...? Yeah, it'sss bad.

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Funkmaster

Stinky pits over here has decided to raise his arm up higher than his head on his five foot tall body, in order to hold onto the metal bar of the T next to the doors - nooot because there's standing room only on the train (nope, there's definitely space to sit down) but just because. And that means sharing his funk with yours truly since I'm sitting in the first seat next to the door, smh. Violation, short sir!! It's not even hot out to be smelling like a workout this early in the morning. Regretting the deep breath I just took...

Monday, September 23, 2013

Old School Jams

Oooh my goodness, sir, your R&B love jams are SO OLD and no one wants to hear these throwbacks during rush hour:

"...every freakin night and every freakin day, I wanna freak with you in every single way... What must I saaaay, what must I dooo..."

Enough already! What must I say to get this to stop?? Get some headphones and take this ish off speaker phone!!