ABG Moment

So I walk into the T and unsuspectingly sit down next to a 20-something a capella group... I should've known something was up - who hangs out with 12 friends on a Tuesday? They started singing theme songs from syndicated oldies (Full House, Wonder Years, Step by Step). Then I recognized one of them as one of those people I kinda know, but have never talked to. Yeeeah, awkward. Although not as awkward as the drunk man wandering through their group. Sigh, seriously, where is the train??

Red Line Brings that Fire... & Brimstone

Have you ever walked into a room...or train...and wondered WHAAAT was going on? Tonight, I gave myself about 5 seconds to assess the middle-aged man in a hoodie pacing in one half of the car, before deciding that while Bible-toting-preacher-man didn't pose any immediate danger, I should still sit on the other side. If confronted, I'd tell him I was on my way to a revival, hallelujah! (kinda true), and to tone down the fire so his umm, captive, train audiences don't auto-tune him out.

"Doors Closing"

So, what really happens when the doors close on the T, and your arm (and whatever's in your hand) doesn't make the cut? Welp, I just witnessed a "man down" situation - middle aged man's arm and briefcase are totally disrespected as the doors close... saving grace: the door stops are rubber, and 3 or 4 fellow riders stepped up to pry the doors open. Not that any of that stopped him from cussing out the station attendant who's supposed to make sure this stuff doesn't happen... smh.

Wake-Up Carols

This morning's T ride was brought to me by an expressionless Christmas caroller singing jingle bell rock. It was so random. I had no idea what I was getting into when i walked onto the train, and 15 seconds in, realized there was a grown man sitting and singing on the other side of the uncrowded aisle. It's just not what I expected to hear from a sober adult, who looked relatively sane. Not gonna lie though, a part of me wanted to join in on the singing. I mean, it IS Christmastime!

Cracked Out

Seriously, if it weren't for Mike Epps' comedy routine about crackheads, I might have never figured out how to spot them on the T. The slow-motion slumping that mimics sleep, the weird ability to retain motor functions at least of their hands because they seem to keep a strong grip of whatever they're holding, the abrupt wake up, and then repeating the slump all over again. It's crazy to watch. Cool that I know what it is, but... mostly depressing.

Standby

The train is literally doing a ten-minute standby at eeevery single stop. If I had any idea where I was, I'd get off and walk... but alas. Wooooo-saaaah.

You STILL Have Service?

I get a little upset at Verizon every time I see someone having a full on convo on their cell phone while the train is significantly underground and my own phone has NO service! I used to be ok with not having service underground, but that was because back then all cell phoners were mutually disadvantaged. Now I feel like I should expect more. More! Verizon, I need you to hear ME now.

Post-Sandy, Still Standing

After seeing post-hurricane pics of the NYC subway system literally submerged, I think I should stop complaining about the T... :-\ Seriously, Hurricane Sandy wreaked havoc and it wasn't on Boston.

Halloween in the Bean

The crazies are in full effect, but just for today, you can't call them freaks. So far I've seen: Mitt Romney (mask) in shorts and a hoodie, talking on his cell phone in the Boston Commons and fat woman costume... smh.

Manly women...?

There are a lot of manly looking women on the train today headed in all directions. The count is now up to 3 on a single train ride... ahhhh!

The Mask

I am SO not in favor of the surgical mask to cover / make your sickness publicly known. Is this "Outbreak"?What do you haaave?? SARS? Ebola? Look, if it's that deathly contagious you should probably be in a bubble. Ok, but seriusly, it makes me more anxious to see someone with a surgical mask on public transit because now I automatically assume you have the swine flu...or something worse...ewww.

Boom-Box Biker

The adventures of commuting just don't end - cut to: a grown man biking down a residential street at night-time, boom-box on his handlebars, and music blasting: "...Don't you judge me!" Sir ... sir, I just did.

Cuddle Time

There were a record number of couples in my car on the T tonight, at least six. Random. Of note was one pairing that looked ready for bedtime - an upper thirties duo, dressed for a night out in the city, hugged up, with hands inside of shirts... not their own shirts. Anyhow, I guess PDAs are in full effect now that it's getting chilly and people are pairing up to secure some extra body heat for the cold season.

Boston...integrated?

My new commute to work is making me think that perhaps Boston is not as segregated as I once thought... Tonight's T-ride looks like the rainbow coalition, sooo... I mean, maybe I wasn't totally wrong about some parts being very homogenous, but areas south of the city definitely seem to have more overall ethic and socioeconomic diversity. Just a 3-week observation. I'll let you know if anything changes.

"Freedom" Fighting Recorder

You remember how the recorder sounded when you were out of breath, running around full of energy, but weren't sure of the notes you were playing? Yea...that's how this musician sounds on the subway platform...with random quiet shouts of "free-dom" thrown into the mix. I'm not one to hate on a freedom fighter, but sir...

Just a Touch

I'm pretty sure the dapper gent with the khaki-colored park ranger hat doesn't realize thay he has a touch-screen phone...or, maybe he just likes squishing things to releases his anger :-/ IDK, but he's pressing on the screen like it's got old school buttons.... and right now, I'm very glad I'm across the aisle, far away from his jerky arm movements that look liable to injure (or at the very least weird out) more than a few of his seatmates.

Catfight?!?

Ummm, this is new...new train line, and a never before seen catfight happening between two women sitting 10 seats apart. One of them is sitting right next to me. The quiet, sober one. The other is still mouthing off...yep, still going. I feel like I'm on an airplane looking for the nearest exits, just in case. There are two... in close proximity.

Bus Buddy

So, I had a T-friend, a bus buddy. I've moved now, and hopefully will find a new buddy soon, but for a few months it was quite comforting to exchange niceties - albeit non verbal greetings, big smiles and waves - with a total stranger. Obviously we were neighborhood buddies, so we sometimes even saw each other while out strolling through Slummerville. In any event, it added some friendliness to my S'ville days.

Domestic Dispute

Surprisingly this is a first for me. I've heard arguments on the Boston Commons, in the Public Gardens, one-sided cell phone fights, even people in the streets that I've subsequently called the po-po about... still this is my first time seeing a couple argue on the T...interesting.

Bouncy House Bus

Sir, I actually RAN to catch this bus and was bumped around less while in mid-sprint than what you're doing to this bus right now. This is OUT of control. How recently did you learn to drive...? because this amateur-level of acceleration and brakeage is almost enough for me to get off and walk the two miles. Cut the crazy!!

4-Inches of Fab

From home to the bus stop is normally a 4-minute walk. But lately, I've been wearing my latest and greatest 4" heel sandals... (There's a green patent leather strip across my toes, I haaad to get them.) Anyhow, one look down at my feet and I'm reminded there will be NO running in these bad boys. Slow strolling it alllll the way. Here's to hoping I'll still catch the bus, or the 4-minute walk to the train just turned into 15-minute slow stroll...

The Man Purse

Did the fashion world ever come up with an acceptable name (or excuse) for the "man-purse"? I dunno, but what we have here looks like a black leather, Armani Exchange engraved bag, about the quarter of the size of a satchel. Maybe the world - or just this young gent - is coming to terms with unisex accessories... If not though, please let me know what I'm supposed to call this.

Fooled me once, not again!

#1 - I already learned my lesson to NOT give out my name or any other info to a teetering tottering drunk man hovering over me and swaying in the aisle of the train. Really sir? Its only 10pm... Maybe you could've waited until like midnight to look this crazy? #2 - dude at downtown crossing who hops on the red and orange lines and always asks for change to get on the commuter rail to see an ailing family membet. We've ALL heard it before, dude. Stop. Just, stop. Seriously, i hope everyone's ok...

No Metro for Old Men

I'm wearing shorts that are too short and sitting in between two old men who look seriously out of place on the T. At a certain age, I think you should get free car service and not have to compete with these crazy T-riders. But, anyhow, it works out for me today, since I kinda feel like I have my own security detail... #winning!

Crowds :-/

I really don't like crowds. I think they're overwhelming. Squeezing between people, getting breathed and spilled on... nope. Not interested. So a while back, I took a 1.5 mile detour to avoid being on a packed train only to end up on.... sigh... on another packed train. The Orange line, post-Celtics win, plus add to that a few Red Sox fans (who escaped before the umpteenth inning). Way too many people to say the least. Can I get a medal for making it home without banging on the glass, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!"...?

The Nerd Prototype

I'm a dressed up nerd, and I freely acknowledge that I've come a long way from the days of mismatched clothing and the Farah Fawcett flip-do. Yes. Memories. So, anyhow, I undersand that many of us have come a long way. Still, there is a contingent among us that by refusing grooming, styling, and other etiquette of adulthood remain extremely easy to "type". You know, the round, wire-framed glasses, fully buttoned up shirts, no interest in muscle tone, pocket protectors.. Needless to say, I was overwhelmed by a pack of nerds on the train home one night. As I watched them, fully suited up, I admired their confidence, notsomuch because their style went where so many nerds have gone before, but because they have no qualms about not aging out of their nerd-dom. So, I think the truth is, nerds are so uncool that maybe they kind of are.

Smooth Armpits?

Is it a new statement that guys are shaving their pits and then showing of their freshly shaved, smooth as a baby's bottom armpits? The guy standing in front of me with an old cut off t-shirt seems to think so. But I dunno. Nooot even really sure how I feel about it. I thought shaving was reserved for the ladies. Well, a good number of us anyway. Please advise...

Tales from the T!

I renamed my blog! "Bus Tales" is heavily used by anyone who has a blog about public transit, and I think "Tales from the T" sounds funnier anyway. Thoughts??

Bushes vs. Bathroom

Ok, gents...just because it's summertime and you're, ahem, a senior adult, does NOT entitle you to relieve yourself in whatever spot you feel is a semi-concealed location! Ok, well, maybe just the fact that you've lived that long does sorta entitle you to do whatever the heck you feel like. But, seriously, the bushes along the edge of the Boston Commons Public Gardens are NOOOT a secure location! Sigh... I think my eyes were just violated by somebody's grandpa.

Rantings on the 1 Bus

Riding the 1 bus between Hynes Convention Center and Central Square is ALWAYS an adventure, most likely a crowded one, but today we got special notes on life from a homeless-esque, sort of destitute-looking fellow, with some personal effects that ranged from a giant trash bag, a duffel bag, and a tall plant...I'm not sure where these things came from, or where he was going, but his life wisdom was another proud moment for Mass public transit. See below for his thoughts on a few subjects...(Headings are my own, quotes are 100% real...)

Rehabilitation: "I'm right outta Bridgewater State Mental Hospital for the criminally insane...They said 'get this ni**a outta here'"

World Peace: "Violence is not the answer... I still wanna get even for the World Trade Center"

Funerals: "See these flowers, aren't they nice? I could bury you with these"

Exercise: "I can bend and stretch. I'll put some moves on your a$$"

Populism: "I could be riding by in a chauffeur-driven limousine, but I ride with the people. I'm with the people"

Not settling: "I want some chicken wings. I have everything else I want"

On group participation: "Somebody else speak up"

God: "The final word for today, God is great"

McWeird

I sympathize with people who have allergies, but this man has just taken things too far - between rubbing his Adam's apple, while sticking his tongue out, rolling water around in his mouth, AND wearing those barefoot toe-sneakers - this whole scenario is just getting weirder by the second. When is my stop???

The Self-Defense Predicament

So, in my nighttime pedestrian wanderings, and sometimes just because DST has ended, I occasionally walk home in the dark. not a streetwalker per se, but... anyhow. In the interest of self preservation, I'm mulling over these options: 1. Self-defense: "GET BACK!!" 2. Concealed weapons: ummm, I'm anti-guns, and really don't wanna carry a blade under my tongue or any other part of my body. Plus I'm usually coming from work where I'm assuming carrying a concealed weapon would leave me jobless... 3. Sprays: someone mentioned mace and pepper spray - which besides being illegal or needing a license to carry, I'm pretty sure I'd get into my own face... Sighhhh, in lieu of my options, I'm legit hoping my antibacterial hand sanitizer will squirt far enough to get alcohol into a would-be-assailant's eyeballs... Yeah. That and 911 on speed-dial.

The T-Tantrum

Power to the parents, but I think I would've handled it differently if my overfed 6-year old were still in stroller and throwing a tantrum about not being able to take his shirt off becuase he was hot on a 50-degree day... Maybe he had a fever? IDK, but for three very long train stops, I had to listen and watch said child vent his angst at being a 6-year old with no control over whether or not he could disrobe. It's hard being little. If only he knew, adulthood is not that much more liberating :-/

Oops...

Wondering whether accidentally falling onto one of the three men hogging a seat in front of me on the train will convince even one of them to give up his seat... I'm perfectly capable of standing in the 3-inch heels I chose to wear to work... I'm just wondering if gentleman still ride the T.

Move in! No, but seriously though...

Move your bodies! What is it about simple instructions that befuddles the Boston commuter? There's always a herd of people by the door of the bus or train and empty air pockets five steps into the actual vehicle. Sometimes there are even unclaimed seats! But who would know? I saw a group of high schoolers get on the train the other day and stay cramped near the entrance because previous passengers hadn't moved in... So they're learning this tom-foolery from a young age. Oooh, Boston...

Sightseeing Sucks

Sightseeing outside this city is, umm, difficult. There aren't any tall or spectacular buildings and things look pretty industrial in at least half of the state. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But, continuing in that gray odyssey of industrialization is the scary looking gi-normous white windmill that's popped up somewhere near the Everett/Somerville town line. It's like the long white blades keep getting longer. I really think it's an optical illusion. It's even starting to look more imposing than the industrial vestiges of the 19th or 20th century that loom behind it. But because it's shamelessly promoting a new era of energy efficiency, I'll leave it alone, for now.

Weirded Out

People are disproportionately weirder on buses than they are on trains! Why is that? The other day, I sat across from Mr. Weird himself. He was feeling up his Adam's apple and sticking his tongue out. He was also wearing the toe sneakers... (further confirmation of insanity). Sir, why are you still rolling the water around in your mouth that you drank 3 minutes ago...? This is getting even weirder than I exected.. WHEN am I getting off this bus?? OMG, he got off first. Thank goodness.

The Amazing Pick-Up

I just got a flashback to summatime! Picture this - a super hot summer day in Boston, and me trekking to the nearest T station... sigh. So I was extra excited when an off-duty bus driver pulled over for me. Score!! I boarded, and walked into the AC as the driver told me that although he'd just passed by another guy who tried to flag him down, he had to pick me up because he, "couldn't let a pretty lady keep walking." Aww, shux! I felt kind bad for the other guy though :(

Anyhow, as we pulled into the station, driver-man kept talking:
"Hope to see you again."
"Me too!" I said, really thinking, it would be great if we could arrange this to happen on a regular basis.
"Oh really, can I have your number...?"
Wait... What? (At this point I could see my last statement had created some confusion. Ooooh... he thinks I wanna holler...Yeah..no.
"No," insert smiley face, "but thank you for the ride!"

And THIS is why you can't have male friends! LOL, I'm just kidding, but for reals, can we just keep this to a friendly, one-time, unattached, exchange? I got off the bus before he could start singing "what your man got to do with me?" I told ya!

Shouting in the Dark

When in doubt, the MBTA bus routes never fail to amuse, especially when the driver is yelling out the window.

From my uber-coach elevated viewing seat in the back of the bus - not so I can relive segregation but because the seats are higher and I can see everything - I spotted this couple who boarded the bus talking about getting off at Lechmere. That's when I knew they were totally lost. The girlfriend didn't believe me, but her boo did, and he jogged up to the front of the bus to ask the driver. Next thing I know, I hear the busdriver's booming Roxbury accent taken up five decibals too high shouting after them: "NOOO, RIIIIGHT OVER THEEERE!! WHERE THAT LAAADY'S STAAANDIN! RIIIGHT THEEERE!!" I almost hit my head on the window laughing. WHYYYYY are you so loud? And why is this ok? I just hope they found the bus stop he was trying to point out...

Digging for Gold

Ok. How do I say this without judging? I mean, we've all done it, whether we were 5 or 25, but usually by now, we've learned the appropriate places to handle our business. Needless to say, the 40 or 50-something man sitting across from me on the T was digging for gold in his left nostril... really wiping it out to ensure it was clean and possibly shining by the time he finished. I on the other hand felt sick. Maybe he's not from around these parts and I should count this on a long list of cultural differences, and yet something tells me this is not the only place in the world where it's kinda nasty to publicly pull boogers and then roll them around in your fingers. I'm gonna go home and throw up now.

"Hey Brown-Brown!"

Sooo, why'd I get called a heifer in Central Square for not giving money to the homeless woman outside CVS? I did kind of ignore her three requests for change :-/ My bad. I think that was the breaking point really. You have to acknowledge your fellow man or in this case, woman, even if it's just to say no. Even still, no need for verbal abuse, ma'am! I so prefer the guy outside the McDonald's in Kenmore Square who calls me (and possibly others...) by shouting: "Hey Brown-Brown," and expects nothing in return except maybe a head nod.

Pick Up Lines

A couple of weeks ago as I was standing, bundled up, reading the Boston Metro on the platform of the T station, an older gent approached me. He might've been 55+. In my peripheral vision I saw him cheesing as he walked in my direction. He passed behind me, then walked as far as three feet away before he started moving in from the right, still cheesing, and started making conversation. Something about the weather, and if I was on my way to work, and THEN! Theeen, old gent boldly went where no man [I'm actually interested in] has gone before - he asked, at 8:30am on a workday, if I had time for coffee! I'm not gonna lie, I wasn't mad at his game, and it wasn't even a bad idea, but I definitely was not interested. What it really left me wondering was, why in the world aren't you teaching these swagalicious skills to the men of my generation??

Blind leading the blind

Sitting on the T listening to a drunken man relay the "life as a drunken man" woes really made me realize I've abandoned my blog for too long. This stuff is too ridiculous to be televised, but it can be blogged.

Yesterday witnessed an ambiguously gendered person sitting with his/her feet up and covering three otherwise available seats on the train. Luckily it wasn't rush hour. Enter mature adult drunken man. Much differnt than drunken college students, because at this pont you're actually an alcoholic. So, he walks into the car and immediately comments on the he/she sitting next to him. "Oh you got it like that, eh? You could take up three whole seats? Life must be good." Clearly no one took offense because pretty soon the he/she and the drunken man were giving each other dap. But things went downhill after the he/she asked the drunken man if, ahem, he was drunk. To which he responded: "I should be asking you that! With your feet up..." mumbles some more, then, "I am drunk, this is how it is."

Here's my question. When all this happens in front of you is it ok to laugh? I held it in for fear he'd find a sass comment for me too, but seriously, I didn't know whether to look at the ceiling or the floor. What in the world!